Amboog-A-Lard

Tried to explore, dying for more.
I closed my eyes, everything a lie.
Tried to deter, dying not to see.
I created, I found myself at least I thought.
Tried and achieved, what was not conceived.
I fell, I fell hard, face down denial.
I tried to rise, everything changes, not me.
I looked, I looked at myself, my direction.